I just got back from a pretty awesome vacation in Mexico with my Mom and husband, David.
I saw recently where something like 97% of the population works while on vacation, by at the very least, reading and responding to email. What’s up with that?!
Now, I have to admit, I did take my laptop. Frequently, about day 4 or 5 of a vacation I get a creative urge; something about getting away from my environment that sparks my juices. I’m in the middle of a big project right now and I thought if I did get creative, I could capitalize on that creativity and knock out a bunch of writing that needed to be done.
Well, I didn’t get that creative urge and I had no desire to pull out my laptop. However, I found myself waiting for that creative urge to arrive because, “Wouldn’t it be great if I could go home with a whole bunch of writing done?! One less thing on my to-do list!”
The Difference Between Men & Women
I see this frequently, particularly with my women clients. We have a harder time giving ourselves permission to really immerse ourselves in the juicy parts of our lives. When we do succeed in scheduling time for ourselves, even if it’s just to get a pedicure or a massage, there’s usually a part of us that feels we “should” be doing something else. Sound familiar?
As a woman, your natural caretaking tendency just compounds the problem and makes it real easy for you to take care of everyone but yourself. It can also make it harder for you to really let go and indulge your need for fun.
I have yet to meet a male client who admitted to dealing with this issue. I’m not saying that men don’t work on vacation. It’s just that if they choose not to, they don’t feel any guilt around it. If you’re reading this and you are a man, and you can relate to this, I’d love to hear from you!
If you had a fractured childhood, fun times may have been few and far between. As a child that can make it hard for you to really fully enjoy those moments because you don’t want them to end, and so every moment you dread the ending that you know is coming. That can extend into your adulthood.
So what are we to do?
First, ask yourself, is there a part of you that doesn’t feel like you deserve to have fun? Did you have good models in your life as a child of carving out time for yourself? Did your parents go off on vacation by themselves or have “mommy / daddy time” without the kids? Or were family times frequently cut short or interrupted because of work duties? All of these send hidden messages and beliefs that you can take on as your own, when they really don’t belong to you.
Next, it is a decision. You schedule time on your calendar, just for you. You leave the technology at home or at least disengage or turn it off. And you coach your children to do the same.
That’s the other important reason here. If you don’t take care of you, what kind of message and way of be-ing does that send to your children?
In the end, when you take care of you, your family will thank you for it, because you’ll be a lot nicer person to be around!
As for me, I’m getting better and better at giving myself permission to unplug. Oh, and it’s 1:00 a.m. as I write this so I guess my creativity and writing muse have returned!
Until next time….
With good energy,