It feels like jumping off a cliff | Conduit for Self-Healing

  3rd Step to Creating Long-Lasting Change I dreamt I was in my car at a four-way stoplight intersection. I’m frustrated because we aren’t moving. It seems like we’ve been sitting and sitting, with the light turning from green to red and back to green again and not one car has budged. I can’t see ahead to see what’s going on or what the hold-up is. Finally, my frustration peaks and I decide to get out of my car and walk! I don’t know where the heck I’m going to go but I am determined I’m leaving my car behind! I am not going to sit here any longer. I open the car door and step out. As I begin to take a few steps I notice that I can’t lift my feet. It feels as if they are glued in place. I look down and I am standing in mud. The thickness of the mud is creating a suction preventing my feet from moving. That dream felt so real. When I woke my heart was racing and my body was filled with anxiety and frustration over what had just occurred. And then it hit me. Like a brick. “Oh my gosh, this dream is a clear illustration of how I am feeling in my life!” Any fear I had around moving forward vanished. In an instant I knew I could no longer hold back in taking the steps necessary to create the next phase of my life. That dream was the prelude to the start of my business as a career coach. When you’re feeling pulled to make...

Creating clarity and flow | Conduit for Self-Healing

Creating clarity and flow… Are you like a dam? Still. Holding back. Moving only in response to people or events wading into your life? Or, are you like a free-flowing, babbling brook that allows the rocks and pebbles in your life path to hone who you are as a person on your journey to fulfilling your purpose in life? It’s the difference between feeling stuck and having a sense of energy, direction and vitality. In my last post, I stated that the first step necessary to Creating Long-Lasting Change when you are in Mid-Life Transition is to Review, Acknowledge, Accept and Release. I also spoke about how that life review is crucial in releasing what no longer fits for you and I outlined a simple release process for you. The 2nd Step to Creating Long-Lasting Change The second step to Creating Long-Lasting Change when you are in a Mid-Life Transition is getting very connected to your values. What are the things, the attributes or the elements that absolutely, positively must be a part of your life in order for you to feel vital and alive? Your values are one of the common threads that run throughout your life, but they can shift in response to events or traumas that occur. Values that may have been lower on the scale can move up in priority. For example, when your last child leaves the nest, you may find that all of a sudden you’re feeling a need to reconnect with who you are, your sense of identity, and having more of an impact in the world. Or, if you suffer the loss of a family...

Crossroads of change | Conduit for Self-Healing

The crossroads of change… Let’s imagine for a moment that you’ve found yourself at a crossroads. These crossroads are triggered by a number of life events: Perhaps your last child has left the nest and you’re wondering “Now what?”. You’re suddenly single, either due to divorce or the loss of a spouse, and find you have this big gaping hole in your life. Perhaps you’re approaching your 40’s, 50’s, 60’s and beyond and you’re feeling this “gnawing sensation” to do something else with your life, but you don’t know what. Maybe you’re sick and tired of having the same goals show up on your list year after year to the point that they’re no longer inspiring and have lost their meaning. Or, maybe it’s just been a gradual discontent that has been bubbling beneath the surface and it’s all of a sudden come to a head. Whatever the cause or trigger, the result is the same.   It all starts with you. It starts with reconnecting with who you are and with what gives you joy. See if any of the following comments I’ve heard from clients in the last couple weeks alone resonate for you: “I know there are common threads that run through my life but I don’t know what those threads are and I don’t even know how to begin to figure them out.” “I think I’ve had a level of discontent for a very long time; it wasn’t until my accident that I all of a sudden realized I had to do something about it.” “I don’t know what I feel. I can’t even tell...

goals, goals, goals | Conduit for Self-Healing

Are you part of the 1%? Does all this talk about resolutions and goals leave you feeling all tied up in knots? In a research study conducted by Dr. David Kohl, professor emeritus at Virginia Tech: 80% of Americans claim that they don’t have goals 16% of them have goals, but they don’t write them down Only 3% actually have written goals, but they don’t review them regularly Only 1% have written goals and review them regularly, and these are among the highest achievers in the US The conclusion would be that if you write down your goals AND you review them often that you have a pretty good chance of achieving them. But I think there’s one more very crucial piece. If you’re among the 80% of those who don’t write them down or maybe you do but feel they don’t really work for you, it might be because your goals don’t have a soul. Yes, a soul. In my experience in order to accomplish anything you set your sights on, there has to be some emotion connected to it; it absolutely must be inspiring in some way. For most people, their goals are something that originated from a place of “I have to (lose 10 pounds or exercise more or….)” or “I need to ___”. What happens is that it you end up with something that you don’t really want to do and it’s just one more item on your “To Do” list. Now I know that we all have things that we “need” or “should” do. But what I’m saying is that you need to go...