Life-defining moments

I was having a conversation with a friend the other day who is grieving the ending of a relationship. It’s a particularly painful ending for him as he was really in love with her and she was perfect for him in virtually every way but one: they were deeply divided over their views and beliefs around spirituality and religion. As painful as they are, relationships or experiences such as these serve to help you further define for yourself what’s important to you, what you value and what you want your life to look like. If you choose to ignore them, it’s kind of like painting over a moldy stain on the wall. No matter how many coats of paint you apply, the stain reappears. Yes, you could put a coat of primer over the top of it, but would the stain still be there underneath? In the same way, when you try to overlook what’s true for you, you might not see it, but it would still be there underneath the surface eroding away at your sense of authenticity, your integrity, your happiness and your well-being. If on the other hand you choose to embrace these experiences as the defining moments that they are, you can become a more clear and focused magnet for what you want to attract into your life. In the future, you will more readily recognize and resonate with what is and is not a great fit for you. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a relationship, a career or an opportunity. The same rule applies. Bottom line, you just won’t waste time on stuff that...

Do you have a feeling that something’s missing in your life?

Do you have that gnawing sensation? You know, that feeling that something’s missing in your life? If not, if your life is dandy, then you can delete this message. If on the other hand I’ve struck a chord, then read on. I hear that complaint a lot from new clients. It’s the most common one I hear, although it comes in a few different versions: “I feel like something’s missing.”   “I feel lost.”   “I’m feeling stuck.” Just yesterday I had a conversation with a new client who’s a stay-at-home working mom. She wants to be there for her children, but has the feeling that something’s missing for her, and it’s a feeling that’s been going on for years. These feelings are usually, but not always, precipitated by either a life trauma or some sort of life transition. I’ve felt it at least twice that I can think of: The first time was about 20 years ago when I had grown disconnected from my work in the tech field and was feeling like there was something else I was “supposed” to be doing other than improving people’s lives through technology. That led me into my work as a career coach. Later, after more than a decade as a career coach, I once again felt that I was being prompted to do something more. That led me into my work as a healer. I used to beat myself up because I had a pattern of moving and changing focus about every 10 years. What I know now is that each transition was part of my own evolvement. It’s what brought...