New Ideas for Discovering Your Life’s Purpose | Conduit for Self-Healing

Life is less satisfying if you can barely drag yourself out of bed to drive to a job you don’t enjoy. Unfortunately, it’s easy to take the well-paying job that doesn’t seem so bad at first. The years pass, and you receive a promotion or two. You buy a house, have kids, and it seems that you’ll be stuck in that job forever. On the other hand, living your life’s purpose allows your life to be filled with excitement and happiness. It’s possible to find your life’s purpose and earn a living from it, even if you’re past the age of 30. It’s never too late! Try these techniques to explore your life’s purpose: 1. Write it down. This method has been shown to be very effective. Find a nice, quiet spot, preferably outdoors. Take out a notebook and a pen. Write “My Life’s Purpose” at the top of the page and start writing whatever pops into your mind. If you find yourself thinking, “This is a dumb idea,” write it down. Did you think about how mad you are that the Rams blew it at the Super Bowl? Write that down, too. Ask yourself, “What is my life’s purpose?” Listen to the answer you receive. There might be a lot of mental garbage before you get to the good stuff. Continue asking until you get an answer that resonates with you. How will you know you’ve found it? You’ll feel some emotion, perhaps even cry. When a simple idea can make you cry, you’ve stumbled on something meaningful. 2. How would you spend the last year of your...

How to Create Room for More of What You Want in Your Life | Conduit for Self-Healing

Adding more of what you want in life requires making space. That space can be physical or psychological. Our lives are often too cluttered and overflowing with things, obligations, and people that don’t provide enough value to be worth the time and space they require. I don’t think there’s such a thing as “balance” in life, at least not in terms of having all areas of your life being equal at any one time. Balance comes more from a place of feeling; a feeling that your current needs are being met. Those needs shift and change along with what’s going on in your life at any given time. To have that balance in life, you might find you need to “downsize”. Consider these ideas: Decide what you want. This is an important first step for many things in life. Whether you’re looking for your perfect partner or a new car, it’s important to know what you want in order to have any hope of finding it. The details matter. What is it you want to add to your life? Once you answer that question, you can begin figuring out how to make the necessary adjustments. What’s most important to you? It’s easier to find the enthusiasm to create room in your life for the things that excite you the most. What excites you? What’s in the way? Think about what you want and consider the obstacles to acquiring or achieving it. Do you need more room in your garage? More free time? Fewer distractions? Ask yourself why the thing you want isn’t already in your life. Clear out the...

Glad 2018 is Over? Positive Strategies for a Happier New Year | Conduit for Self-Healing

If last year brought you excess stress, strained relationships, misfortune, or upheaval to your life, you may have been thinking “Good riddance” as you ended 2018. My year certainly didn’t go quite as I had planned. This time last year I was looking forward to what 2018 had to offer. I had just completed 10 months of chemo and radiation and the “plan” was to have my lumpectomy surgery in February followed shortly thereafter by a final 5-week series of radiation. I thought I would be done with treatment by the end of March, April at the very latest. Well… One surgery turned into two back-to-back surgeries only three weeks apart which left me with chronic pain in my breast and shoulder which then lead to a “frozen shoulder” requiring a delay in my radiation (6 weeks instead of 5) and regular physical therapy to regain the full use and mobility of my left arm. I didn’t complete my treatment until August 6th and I’m still dealing with pain and ongoing physical therapy. Not quite what I had in mind! In the midst of all of that, however, I maintained my coaching practice and I wrote and published an Amazon best-seller and was a co-author on another. How did I do that? By choosing what I focused on and what actions I could take to continue to move forward in a positive way. No matter what is going on in your own life you basically have two choices: 1) You can choose to let it drag you down and define your life; or 2) You can choose to try...

Life-defining moments

I was having a conversation with a friend the other day who is grieving the ending of a relationship. It’s a particularly painful ending for him as he was really in love with her and she was perfect for him in virtually every way but one: they were deeply divided over their views and beliefs around spirituality and religion. As painful as they are, relationships or experiences such as these serve to help you further define for yourself what’s important to you, what you value and what you want your life to look like. If you choose to ignore them, it’s kind of like painting over a moldy stain on the wall. No matter how many coats of paint you apply, the stain reappears. Yes, you could put a coat of primer over the top of it, but would the stain still be there underneath? In the same way, when you try to overlook what’s true for you, you might not see it, but it would still be there underneath the surface eroding away at your sense of authenticity, your integrity, your happiness and your well-being. If on the other hand you choose to embrace these experiences as the defining moments that they are, you can become a more clear and focused magnet for what you want to attract into your life. In the future, you will more readily recognize and resonate with what is and is not a great fit for you. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a relationship, a career or an opportunity. The same rule applies. Bottom line, you just won’t waste time on stuff that...

Do you have a feeling that something’s missing in your life?

Do you have that gnawing sensation? You know, that feeling that something’s missing in your life? If not, if your life is dandy, then you can delete this message. If on the other hand I’ve struck a chord, then read on. I hear that complaint a lot from new clients. It’s the most common one I hear, although it comes in a few different versions: “I feel like something’s missing.”   “I feel lost.”   “I’m feeling stuck.” Just yesterday I had a conversation with a new client who’s a stay-at-home working mom. She wants to be there for her children, but has the feeling that something’s missing for her, and it’s a feeling that’s been going on for years. These feelings are usually, but not always, precipitated by either a life trauma or some sort of life transition. I’ve felt it at least twice that I can think of: The first time was about 20 years ago when I had grown disconnected from my work in the tech field and was feeling like there was something else I was “supposed” to be doing other than improving people’s lives through technology. That led me into my work as a career coach. Later, after more than a decade as a career coach, I once again felt that I was being prompted to do something more. That led me into my work as a healer. I used to beat myself up because I had a pattern of moving and changing focus about every 10 years. What I know now is that each transition was part of my own evolvement. It’s what brought...

Time-out for YOU!

I just got back from a pretty awesome vacation in Mexico with my Mom and husband, David. I saw recently where something like 97% of the population works while on vacation, by at the very least, reading and responding to email. What’s up with that?! Now, I have to admit, I did take my laptop. Frequently, about day 4 or 5 of a vacation I get a creative urge; something about getting away from my environment that sparks my juices. I’m in the middle of a big project right now and I thought if I did get creative, I could capitalize on that creativity and knock out a bunch of writing that needed to be done. Well, I didn’t get that creative urge and I had no desire to pull out my laptop. However, I found myself waiting for that creative urge to arrive because, “Wouldn’t it be great if I could go home with a whole bunch of writing done?! One less thing on my to-do list!” The Difference Between Men & Women I see this frequently, particularly with my women clients. We have a harder time giving ourselves permission to really immerse ourselves in the juicy parts of our lives. When we do succeed in scheduling time for ourselves, even if it’s just to get a pedicure or a massage, there’s usually a part of us that feels we “should” be doing something else. Sound familiar? As a woman, your natural caretaking tendency just compounds the problem and makes it real easy for you to take care of everyone but yourself. It can also make it harder...