{Affirmation} “I love myself and the world around me. I accept myself for who I am. I am enough.”

Twenty-six years ago today I met a man for lunch at my favorite Japanese restaurant in Sacramento, Aomi’s. His name was David. It was a blind date, of sorts.

It all started about five months earlier on a hot summer July evening, with me enjoying a Friday night Happy Hour with some friends from work. I had spotted him across the crowded restaurant. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. He walked in and out of the restaurant a couple of times, as if he was searching for someone.

I felt a strange combination of disappointment, relief and excitement as I saw him leave the restaurant later with yet another coworker of mine.

“Just as well.” I thought. My heart was still bleeding from the recent breakup of yet one more dysfunctional relationship. The last thing I wanted, or needed, was another man in my life.

Now here he sat, 5 months later, sweating bullets to the point that I thought there might be something wrong with him!

A few days before our lunch I had asked my coworker “So, whatever happened with you and that guy at the restaurant?”

“Oh, he wasn’t my type. Why, would you like his number?”

“Do you still have it?!” I replied, both amused and bewildered.

“Yeah, I think I have it in here somewhere” she said as she shuffled around in the middle drawer of her desk.

Out of the collection of pens and pencils and other assorted desk drawer items emerged a scrap of paper with a copy of the original personal ad he had placed, with his phone number scribbled on the back of it.

She hands it to me.

The title of the ad reads “Are you my beloved?”

My stomach is full of butterflies and my mind is a blur.

Now, there’s a lot more to the story, like:

  • How the memory of him just “popped” into my head on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving.
  • That I called him several times and hung up before I had the courage to leave a message on his answering machine (yes, we had those back then – this was 1989).
  • How I thought I was never going to hear back from him because it was almost a week before he called me back.
  • How ecstatic I was when I got home on that afternoon and found his message on my answering machine.

And so it goes.

A little over four years later we were married.

Why do I tell you this story? Well, for one, it’s a pretty great story, isn’t it?! I mean, what are the chances that she’d still have his phone number after all that time?!

The other reason is because it’s a great metaphor for life.

Creating change in your life requires:

Courage to make that first step or that first phone call or that first whatever that moves you from where you are to where you want to go;

Faith that because you took the first step, and you keep moving forward, one step, one action, one choice at a time, that your life will unfold before you in a way that’s best for you;

And, it requires getting out of your own way. Before I took that first step of making that phone call, I had some healing to do. I knew on a deep level that there was some stuff that I really needed to work through and I didn’t want to invite any man into the mud and muck I was in.

Thank goodness I did wait. It would for sure have been the quick death of our relationship.

What do you want to create in 2016? What are you willing to commit to in order to create the life you want? What healing needs to take place in you to allow that transformation to occur?

Over the coming weeks I’ll be revealing the 7 Gateways to creating change. They’re all part of my brand new course I’m launching in January.

So stay tuned!



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Debra W. Guttas, Mid-Life Transition Doula™, HTP

“Are you in a mid-life transition? I provide emotional, mental and spiritual support in the ‘birthing’ of your new life path.”

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Debra Guttas is Author of the forthcoming book “Personal & Business Success through the 7 Gateways – Spiritual & Practical Tools for Crafting Your Life from the Inside Out”

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